Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Dating Women - Tips and Advice - 5 Strategies of Attraction for a Guy to Attract the Girl He Wants
There are a lot of guys in this world whose pivotal desire is to become successful with women. Yet most of them never achieve their goal.The reason that most guys fail to achieve their goal is because they don't fully grasp the following truth:No guy on earth can become successful with women intentionally.Genuine continued success with women is one of the things in this world which you cannot achieve if you want it bad enough.If you try to intentionally obtain success with women, it will always elude you. But, if you honestly discard your craving for it, it will not leave you alone.The thought of "becoming successful with women" can only come from a man who doesn't believe he is worthy. If he does really believe he is worthy, he would not aim for success with women."Success with women" is the manifestation of a confused mind, the mind of a guy who feels emptiness inside himself, and wishes to fill this emptiness with the pleasure of a relationship.That emptiness is a bottomless pool. You can never fill it, nor should you aspire to.When you constantly try to "fill your pool" by outward sensations like women, you gradually become more and more needy and unworthy in your and their eyes.Neediness and unworthiness are two traits that women despise the most.So, you see most men's ambiguity here?On one side they feel that a hot woman is exactly what they need in order to fill the hole inside themselves, yet that very need have causes them to deepen the hole even further.I will say it again and again: never try to fill your hole, because it can never be filled, but instead, do whatever you can to find the cause for this hole.It is like a man walking with his friends to the mall, and suddenly feeling an acute pain in his foot. Instead of stopping for a second, and checking to see what's happened to his foot, he continues walking.When he arrives at the mall, he still feels the pain, so he buys an ice cream, laughs with his friends, and tries to pick up women, hoping that the pleasure he receives from this will override his troubling pain.What would you say to this guy if you were watching him all along?You would obviously tell him to stop whatever he is currently doing and start focusing on his REAL problem, which is his foot.And if he is a sane man, he will do just that.If he is successful in finding and curing the source of his pain, all of his pleasure seeking needs will go away.Now, as I promised:Here are just 5 things you can do to become a women magnet1.Find your passion - try to figure out what is your passion in life. When you find it, focus all your power and stick to it.When you are passionate about what you do it will show in how you think, speak, and act.Women just ADORE the passionate man.2.Don't give women what YOU think they want - women are not a welfare office. If you want them to give you what you want, you have to give them what they want in return.Hint - women don't want your niceness.3.Aim for the process, not for the goal - the average guy wants a hot woman because he subconsciously believes that a hot woman will serve as a stepping stone for him to achieve self-worth.Having a hot woman will be for him something like a trophy which he can place on his "mental shelf" and feel proud about.Yet, as I said before, having this mentality will make women find that he is needy and unworthy.So, don't aim for the stars, and then feel sorry that you have landed on the grass.Instead, aim for interaction: first become comfortable speaking to yourself in the mirror, then to your family, then to service people (they have to talk to you), then other guys, then women you are not attracted to, then women that you are attracted to.4.Doubt anyone including YOURSELF - Don't believe anything you hear from other people, including myself, before investigating it for yourself.Furthermore, don't even believe what you are telling yourself. Most of the time you are only giving interpretations that you accepted as valid facts.5.Don't look for answers, look for good questions -we always look for satisfactory answers to our burning questions, yet it seems that we rarely find the answers we want.So, instead of concentration on finding answers for our questions, let's try to change the questions, and see if we get different answers.For example,Don't say: How can I get what I want in life?Say: How can I give people what THEY really want?Don't say: Are women just insane?Say: I wonder what kind of man women are attracted to?Women want a certain kind of man, and if you give them what they want they will do whatever they can to constantly be around you in order to give you what YOU want.
3 Top Secrets On How To Solve And Avoid Conflict Between Lovers
There are a lot of tips and ideas on how to make a relationship successful. Even lovers who have been with someone for the longest period of time have a lot to share on how to maintain a healthy relationship.
They will definitely be not the people who will say that a good relationship means there are no conflicts at all. In fact, disagreements may be the only element that can spice up a relationship. However, there are conflicts that can lead to extreme disputes, building on to hatred then becoming enemies. These are the types of differences that lovers should avoid to save the relationship they have invested time and effort on.
Basically, handling conflicts wisely comes with age and wisdom. But even the young lovers of today can learn from one principle wherein they can spare themselves from sheer depression of heartbrokenness. The one main ingredient is no other than mutual compromise.
Mutual compromise means that both parties should learn how to listen and give in to any thoughts his or her lover might have. Disagreements developed because each wants to prove that he or she is right and the other one is wrong. But the sad fact is the truth they both possess is subjective. It is right at some point and wrong at some. The invisible cause actually comes from the selfishness to give in. Compromise emphasizes on both parties actually competing to be lowly instead of competing to be above each other. Being lowly does not mean becoming a doormat. A doormat means somebody who is ignorant of his personal values. These are the types of people who do not have a backbone with regards to social and personal ethics.
The virtue of compromise is practiced by those who completely understand and respect themselves, and knows exactly what his principles are. They are the people who can readily give respect to others because they already feel completely secured in themselves. As a result they possess the ability to give the best to others. When it comes to conflicts and points of disagreements in a relationship, they would voluntarily choose to control their ego first, prefer to listen to a point made by their partners and dismiss the idea of being the boss.
Below are thoughts on how to mutually compromise with your lover so as to avoid unresolved conflicts in the future:
1. Settle your insecurities
Prevention is better than cure. Before one engages in a relationship get into lifestyle check. Be honest to accept your insecurities earlier so as to spare both and your partner unnecessary conflicts in the relationship. Romance and relationship is designed for both partners to be able to grow together in a healthy and physical way and not to suffer.
If you are already in a relationship, you can still do the same and reflect on yourself. Remember conflicts arise because both parties are at fault. And most of the annoyance and irritations primarily comes from not being secured of oneself and initially throws the blame to others. It is not more on external issues actually.
2. Practice and accept humility
Every experience in life is an opportunity to understand that no one is above anybody else. Most individuals fail to understand the fact that each has his own because they refuse to accept their limitations. They keep on believing that the world belongs to them.
When reality sinks in that they are not the only people who live in this world, they become confused and taken off-guard. They get annoyed that they are not in control. One way to avoid conflict is to acknowledge that everybody can be right at times or everybody can be wrong most of the times, including oneself.
3. Give the benefit of the doubt
Whenever your ideals and expectations of your partner are devastated, think that that there are one hundred one ways to kill a cat. What you will involuntary think may not be actually the reason at all. Humans tend to doubt a character easily especially when it comes to putting someone down, let alone a lover.
Jealousy will augment the irritation and annoyance. Before you flare up and make hurting conclusions to your partner, push the red button and warn yourself that what you are thinking may not be the real one. Give your partner a chance to justify his side. Your sincerity and patience will move him to be honest whatever the case may be.
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They will definitely be not the people who will say that a good relationship means there are no conflicts at all. In fact, disagreements may be the only element that can spice up a relationship. However, there are conflicts that can lead to extreme disputes, building on to hatred then becoming enemies. These are the types of differences that lovers should avoid to save the relationship they have invested time and effort on.
Basically, handling conflicts wisely comes with age and wisdom. But even the young lovers of today can learn from one principle wherein they can spare themselves from sheer depression of heartbrokenness. The one main ingredient is no other than mutual compromise.
Mutual compromise means that both parties should learn how to listen and give in to any thoughts his or her lover might have. Disagreements developed because each wants to prove that he or she is right and the other one is wrong. But the sad fact is the truth they both possess is subjective. It is right at some point and wrong at some. The invisible cause actually comes from the selfishness to give in. Compromise emphasizes on both parties actually competing to be lowly instead of competing to be above each other. Being lowly does not mean becoming a doormat. A doormat means somebody who is ignorant of his personal values. These are the types of people who do not have a backbone with regards to social and personal ethics.
The virtue of compromise is practiced by those who completely understand and respect themselves, and knows exactly what his principles are. They are the people who can readily give respect to others because they already feel completely secured in themselves. As a result they possess the ability to give the best to others. When it comes to conflicts and points of disagreements in a relationship, they would voluntarily choose to control their ego first, prefer to listen to a point made by their partners and dismiss the idea of being the boss.
Below are thoughts on how to mutually compromise with your lover so as to avoid unresolved conflicts in the future:
1. Settle your insecurities
Prevention is better than cure. Before one engages in a relationship get into lifestyle check. Be honest to accept your insecurities earlier so as to spare both and your partner unnecessary conflicts in the relationship. Romance and relationship is designed for both partners to be able to grow together in a healthy and physical way and not to suffer.
If you are already in a relationship, you can still do the same and reflect on yourself. Remember conflicts arise because both parties are at fault. And most of the annoyance and irritations primarily comes from not being secured of oneself and initially throws the blame to others. It is not more on external issues actually.
2. Practice and accept humility
Every experience in life is an opportunity to understand that no one is above anybody else. Most individuals fail to understand the fact that each has his own because they refuse to accept their limitations. They keep on believing that the world belongs to them.
When reality sinks in that they are not the only people who live in this world, they become confused and taken off-guard. They get annoyed that they are not in control. One way to avoid conflict is to acknowledge that everybody can be right at times or everybody can be wrong most of the times, including oneself.
3. Give the benefit of the doubt
Whenever your ideals and expectations of your partner are devastated, think that that there are one hundred one ways to kill a cat. What you will involuntary think may not be actually the reason at all. Humans tend to doubt a character easily especially when it comes to putting someone down, let alone a lover.
Jealousy will augment the irritation and annoyance. Before you flare up and make hurting conclusions to your partner, push the red button and warn yourself that what you are thinking may not be the real one. Give your partner a chance to justify his side. Your sincerity and patience will move him to be honest whatever the case may be.
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